Young Life Crisis

Turning 20 is like a giant slap in the face. One minute you are still a teenager, living life, not having a care in the world, and then BAM you're an adult. For me this came with a lot of struggling, dreams dying, dreams being born, and late night cries.

Thinking you have your whole life figured out and then waking up one day to so many changes is not something I thought I would have to go through yet. I had college figured out, I had internships in the bag, and my post college life prepared. I had it all under control. Then I lost my dream school after finding out my family wasn't as financial stable as I always thought. I lost my sense of identity and was waking up everyday having no idea what was next. Now believe me, for a person who plans out everything meticulously, this was devastating.

I will be honest, this is the first time writing something other than my signature in over 3 months. I lost my courage to write about literally anything and I lost myself. 

Still kept my head down and finished up my two year school graduating with an Associate of Fine Arts and Sciences as well as a Creative Writing Certificate. But then came the dreaded what now question. I started searching for jobs to fill my time with and landed a Chiropractic Assistant position.

Still in the back of my mind I didn't know where I was going with schooling and that freaked me out. It took a lot of time, but I think I figured it out. I will be getting a Social Media Marketing Certificate while working at the Chiropractic Clinic. Then next fall 2019 I will continue my education getting my Bachelor's in Journalism.

These past few months have held the most change that have ever occurred in my entire life and that feeling of being directionless was tough. The key to overcoming any unwanted change though, is how you deal with it. In my circumstance, I took a lot of me time and did things that made me happy.

I spent time surrounded by my friends and family who support me no matter what. I made time for nature and going on adventures. I swam in a waterfall, went to a music festival, did two 5k runs, and danced all night at a rave.

I also learned how to be my own best friend again. Spending time just sitting and being alone is some of the best mental therapy one can do when trying to figure out their life. While I spent a lot of time contemplating what I wanted and how I was going to get it, I started working on a different dream of mine that has been on hold for a while: traveling.

I have so many travels planned for this year and next that I can’t wait for. Most are with friends and family but for one I will be doing my first ever solo trip. They will be once in a life time travels that’s for sure!

Hopefully one day New York will be my home working in book publishing, but for now this is my plan.

If there is ever a time where everything feels like it is crumbling around you, that everything is falling apart and you have no idea how to fix it; let yourself feel all the emotions. Cry when you want to cry. Scream when you want to scream. Let everything out and then look in the mirror and remind yourself what you want out of life. Once that is done start the next step to achieving your goals.

It can be the smallest step, like getting out of bed and brushing your teeth. It doesn’t have to be monumental, as long as it’s a step in the right direction. Just remember it's okay to feel helpless and overwhelmed sometimes. Life will knock you down, but be the person who gets back up again.

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